


Splintered

by bluerosebouquet



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x18 speculation, Angst, M/M, Spoilers, The Empty (Supernatural), This Is So Sad I'm Sorry, trailer spoilers anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:34:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26279494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluerosebouquet/pseuds/bluerosebouquet
Summary: The Empty comes for Cas.  15x18 spec
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 54





	Splintered

Cas knows what’s coming, he can hear it, in the form of Death herself, stalking the halls of the Bunker, getting closer with each passing second. Dean is confused, he can hear the beating the place is taking outside the door Cas has locked them in. It won’t hold the Entity for long, but hopefully for long enough.

“What’s going on? Cas?”

His bright green eyes are concerned and ready for a fight in equal measure. Cas’ hands curl into fists of their own volition, he won’t let it hurt Dean. It wants him, not Dean.

“I, I made a deal. With the Empty. Looks like it’s here to…get me.”

Dean’s eyes raise in that way, that telltale way that Cas knows means he’s about to get told off.

“And why would you do something like that?”

“To save Jack, it was him or me. I chose me. It told me it wouldn’t…take me until I had let myself be happy.”

Dean looks around, incredulous.

“Well in case it hasn’t noticed, we’re fighting God. Right now is really when you’re happiest?”

Cas smiles, feeling the low burn of tears in his eyes. He doesn’t even really know why he’s crying.

“I think it was less of something that happened, and more of an acceptance. That I deserve you.”

“Deserve me?” Dean’s eyebrows have that little v-shaped pucker, the one that only appears when he’s at his most upset, “What do you mean, you’ve never not deserved me.”

Against his will, his heart flutters at those words. If it wasn’t going to take him before, it sure as hell would now.

Now is the time, it’s going to take him either way, and he doesn’t want to leave the world that has so thoroughly changed him with any regrets. So he has to say it as the Entity searches for him, he has to make it fast, and he has to make sure that Dean understands that he cannot come looking for him.

“Dean, you’ve fought for this whole world-”

“Cas we can-”

He has that look on this face, that look that Cas has only associated with an aching in his chest, a strong, almost overwhelming desire to make whatever was bothering him better, but this was one of those things that he can’t make better. He can only make infinitesimally easier.

“This was my choice, Dean. You don’t have to fight for me.”

Dean’s shoulders sink, but not in the relief that Cas expected.

“I can’t lose you, not like this.”

The words take the air out of Cas’ lungs.

“Dean-”

“We can fight this, I can fix this.”

Cas, against his better judgement, against everything he had always been taught as an angel, acting on an instinct that was only present when he was with Dean, takes a step forward and takes Dean’s face in his hands.

“I love you. I love you, but you can’t come looking for me. It’s okay.”

Dean huffs out a shaky breath.

The door splinters as the scythe hits it at its weakest point. There stands the Entity, a smile curling Billie’s borrowed mouth.

“Time to collect.”

It raises the scythe to strike him down, and Cas closes his eyes, ready for the blow, until Dean gasps and hits the floor like a ton of bricks.

The bravest, kindest human he had ever known, willing to die even for Castiel, the fallen, broken angel.

Dean’s bleeding, and Cas doesn’t even let himself think, he summons every last bit of grace he has left in his tired body and blasts the Entity back. He barely registers the ripping sensation coming from the skin of his back, he can’t dwell on it. It buys them a minute. Maybe less. Cas hauls Dean up, who clings to him like a drowning man clings to a life raft, clutching his other arm to his side. Cas tries, as they move as fast as either of their bodies will allow toward the dungeon, to muster the energy to heal Dean, or yell at him for getting in the way. He finds he can’t manage either.

They barricade the door to the dungeon. But there’s no trap in the world that can stop what’s coming for him. Cas knows that, but Dean, he can see, can’t face it.

Dean is swaying where he stands, and Cas holds onto his elbow to try and keep him upright.

“Dean,” he starts, but Dean shakes his head vigorously.

“Don’t. We’re gonna, I’m gonna get you out of this.”

“You aren’t. But that’s okay. I’m sorry, I should’ve told you sooner.”

“Which part?” Dean’s eyes are on the floor now, always so good at avoiding what was right in front of him.

There’s a slam on the dungeon door, and little motes of dust shake down from the ceiling.

“You don’t want me to answer that.”

Cas looks at Dean, staring at his face, his eyes that are a little too red, overfilled with tears that Cas wants with everything he has to just wipe away. He had never had the desire to touch anything before Dean, and now he had to stop himself from making contact every few seconds, just to reassure himself that the man in front of him, in a beat up jacket and well-worn flannel, was real, not an elaborate illusion he had created, or someone else had created to torture him.

There’s a bang on the door, the color drains from Dean’s face as they look at each other.

“I’m scared,” the words sound childish, coming from an angel. He wasn’t supposed to feel any fear, one of the warriors of Heaven wasn’t supposed to feel anything. But he didn’t really feel like a warrior, he hadn’t for a while now, and the existential fear of being trapped in the blackness, of never seeing the man in front of him again, was crippling.

Dean swallows, refusing to acknowledge the slamming on the door except to jump a little at the creaking metal.

“Please.”

“You deserve everything, Dean. Everything that I wish I could give. I love you, I’m sorry.”

The door slams open, the hinges splintered like broken glass. Dean turns to look at the Entity, still in the form of Death, and Cas takes the opportunity to drink in every last detail that it would be a crime to forget. He supposes he won’t remember, once he’s asleep, but he doesn’t care.

Before Dean can even turn around, Cas feels the darkness consume him, one hand reaching out to touch the only person in the universe he had ever loved so fiercely.

He only catches dark, black air.

**Author's Note:**

> lmao sorry I cried writing this. Based on a prompt I received over on my [tumblr](https://heliodean.tumblr.com/)


End file.
